INTEL 1 - Unitask with pride
Women are better at multi tasking, its official, well at least according to the catchily titled National Academy of Sciences of Brain Networks (NASBN) whose scanning has flagged enhanced connections between the left and right sides of the female brain. Male brains meanwhile “display more intense activity within the brain’s individual parts, especially in the cerebellum” – this is NASBN’s way of telling us we’re a bit thick.
NASBN have of course conveniently ignored a substantial body of evidence that mid-lifers are in fact able to multi-task, specifically their ability to simultaneously:
- Spectate / Imbibe
- DIY / 6 Music
- Iron / Netflix
- Fornicate / Fantasize
I could go on but I’m struggling to recall and write simultaneously.
Regardless the key point here is the wholly erroneous presumption that the fairer sex’s ability to multi-task is something mid-lifers should envy. The ability to multi-task certainly doesn’t equate to the ability to perform these tasks quickly or effectively; combine meal preparation, homework oversight and social media activity and the inevitable result is a burnt dinner, sloppy handwriting and a Facebook message speculating on Hilary Clitoris’s election success.
So in summary, unitask and be proud. This radical concept involves doing something, finishing it, then doing something else. Engross yourself in the moment and revel in your inadequacy.
 If your good lady is carrying out all of these tasks whilst you’re in the house, you’ll be well advised to immediately turn to the ‘Relationship’ section of this book. This is especially pertinent if you’re simultaneously ensconced on the sofa and spectating / imbibing.