9 'ings' its only acceptable to do when cycling

1.  Spitting - Having first checked over your shoulder for fellow cyclists.
2.  Breaking wind loudly - as above.
3.  Pulling up next to another cyclist, pointing to the thing between his/her legs and......
4.  Enquiring - "Is that nice ride".
5.  Tootling happily along for 20 minutes just inches from the arse of the cyclist ahead, in cycling parlance this is....
6.  'Drafting to maximise the aerodynamic effect'.....anywhere else that's a restraining order.
7.  Nodding, and shouting a cheery 'HELLO!', to anyone you see wearing lycra.
8.  Using the words 'lube' and 'helmet' in the same sentence
9.  Ingesting 5 energy gels and 4 chocolate bars in the space of a 4 hour ride - the land-based equivalent of guzzling 8 cans of 'Monster Energy'