CASH 2 - Tooth fairies leave a quid!
If the Chancellor wants to earn the unending gratitude of pretty much 100% of UK parents, he/she simply needs to pass a law restricting tooth fairy payments to a pound per tooth. According to a recent survey the average tooth fairy donation is now £2.10, a 50p increase in five years, that’s a stonking 33% rise, well over three times the underlying rate of inflation over the same period! How did this happen?
And guess what? The more money you give, the more sweets they’ll buy and the more teeth they’ll lose and the more money you’ll give. You’re now caught up in a vicious circle of dental decay; paying your children ridiculous amounts for something which requires absolutely no effort on their part – save when they actually start twatting each other in the mouth so large is the prize on offer.
So save the Chancellor doing us all a massive favour, let’s make a universal mid-lifer pack to restrict our tooth fairies to a pound a tooth.