9 'ings' which 'Dry January' doesn't help with

1.  Dancing in public
2.  Dealing with shitty days at work......."Good day love?"...."Not really, where's that Ribena?"
3.  Remaining on good terms with 'wet' friends........"Christ how many smug facebook updates is he going to post?" etc.
4.  Saving money.....Any liquid-based gains will inevitably be blown on motivational mid-month treats and that long-awaited 1st Feb blowout
5.  Keeping your local in business - CAMRA data indicates that 27 British Pubs are closing every week, so that's over a 100 you Dry January f*&%$s are helping to stiff, think on.
6.  Enduring the 'there's a free bar which I can't touch' night from hell at friends' party on the 27th January...and no it doesn't count if you stop now
7.  Dealing with those moments - injury time and watching team hang on for a draw, 'You're already 16 weeks!', once-in a career lifetime surprise pay-rise - when only booze will do
8.  Embracing a realistic approach to healthy-living - as opposed to the unsustaimable crash-diety/joint stag/hen night because we don't really trust eachother......esque nature of Dry Jan.
9.  Living in the real World