NEWSFLASH! - Blood Orange to seek damages from 'manipulative' Nigella Lawson

An orange who starred in BBC2's recent 'Nigella's Christmas Table' is to seek damages against seductive souffle fonder cum industrial coke-toker Nigella Lawson.

Speaking through an interpreter, the unnamed Maltese Blood Orange claimed that Lawson's de-juicing technique was "highly inappropriate and clearly designed to arouse - as opposed to educate - a pre-watershed tv audience".

A spokesman for the eenie, menie, burka, bikini? star meanwhile refused to be drawn on claims that Lawson partied till the early hours on New Years' Eve with piano-tastic anagram addict Sir Richard Stilgoe and an unnamed Peperami,